Friday, December 2, 2011

It's my Luca's party, and I'll Cry if I Want to...

Today my baby is three years old, and I am a weepy, weepy mess. I've cried at least 4 times today, and it's only 10:23 am. I'm hoping I'm not the only mama who goes into a brief depression on her childrens' birthdays, but I just have a really tough time with the passage of time and my babies growing up. I know my little man is only turning 3, and can't even zipper his own coat, but in my mind, he might as well be applying to colleges tomorrow and leaving me to get married to some blonde named Tina who can't cook or clean and won't remind him to call his mother on her birthday. I just need time to sloooooooow the heck down.

99% of me knows I am being ridiculous and selfish, but there's that really loud 1% (those damn 1%s!) that has pretty much taken over my brain for a few hours. That one percent does have a valid point to make though. As moms, we tend to complain about certain things to our husbands, fellow mommies, co-workers, Stop&Shop cashiers, Salvation Army Santas at the mall, etc...You were up all night with a baby that refused to be detached from your hip. You spent 2 exhausting hours at Picture People jumping up and down, sweating, trying to get your little monsters angels to smile for THE picture for the Christmas cards. This week you've spent more time in your car driving to soccer, dance, religion, cheerleading and yukule lessons than you've spent in your own house.

That 1% that is making me sob like a 10 year old at a Justin Bieber concert is an awesome reminder that although time isn't going to slow down, we should. It reminds me to remember the whole 'stop to smell the roses' cliche (or in this case, 'stop to smell the diaper/hamper/strange smell that just won't leave your car'). Time is going to keep going at it's regular ol' pace, but the more we slow down and just 'live in the now', the more we will get out of it. Easier said than done, especially when it's 3 am, you are holding a screaming howler monkey, but remember that those tough moments will pass just as quickly as the good ones, so cherish them all...even the smelly and yell-y ones.

Happy birthday, to my little buddy...xoxo


  1. Happy Birthday Luca!! Jen, when I was reading the beginning, all I kept thinking was "Tell her to slow down and appreciate every moment NOW". wrote the words yourself. You know I am a big cry baby too. However, now that I am sending my "baby boy" off to college, I cry because I look back from his birth till today and there is so much I regret not doing with him. So many times I just wanted to get him into bed so I could selfishly relax. So many fun activities I blew off because "I was too tired and said we'd do it next weekend". Poor Juliana is going to have to spend the next 5 years before she goes to college with a mother up her butt 24/7, but that's ok. I can only handle regrets with one child. I read all those books and poems as he was growing up about slowing down and smelling the roses and I never listened. It's like in the other blogs you wrote, the idea that you don't really know what you are going to do or how you are going to feel until it actually happens. Well, college has actually happened and now I don't cry because I am happy he is spreading his wings. I cry for all the times I didn't hold him that extra 10 minutes when he was screaming, or when I gave up laying in bed with him too soon because I selfishly wanted to go to sleep in my own bed. Crying because I didn't try to sit down with him at least once a day or once every other day and just chat all alone. Remember, we have them for 18 years as "children" , and even though they will always be our babies no matter what age, the other 40+ years as they grow into adults and marry those Tina's makes the 18 years of having to deal with screaming, crying, stress, running around in the car a delight!!

  2. awww hugs to you mama! I know exactly how you feel. Watching them grow is so bittersweet and it goes by way to fast. It seems to speed up as they get older too. My oldest is 5 now, almost 6 and a big boy Kindergartner, seems like just yesterday I brought him home from the hospital.
    Happy Birthday to your little one!

  3. I haven't gotten to that stage yet..mine are still so little....but I do catch glimpses of those big lives they will one day live far far away from me.
    So I try to cherish theses moments...some are easier than others and I can say that some smelly ones I may never miss!!!